The “Suck At” List

So, after a couple of trips to the hospital to let the staff have a, thankfully, uninvasive look inside (x-ray and ultrasound), there might possibly potentially be a tiny little baby stone lingering in my left kidney.  The ultrasound technician wasn’t convinced though and so my days continue with the wonderful trepidation that at any moment I could be brought to my knees by a piece of calcium that is 2mm in diameter.  The good news is that I feel back to normal.  And alas, If that piece o’ rock even attempts to send my ureters into spasm again, I am now able to send my body into a wonderfully numb state in a matter of minutes thanks to my stock of suppositories and codeine.

With all of the lying around I’ve been doing over the last couple of days I have been thinking more about the fact that in just over a month I will become a member of the Dirty Thirty club.  The big 3-0.  The fourth decade.  The age that everyone wants to be the new 20, but when you find yourself strolling through the aisles of M&S, you realize it just isn’t.  Turning 30 (or any milestone age) is bound to make you reflect.  That and when you start to see your “not really friend” friends who are on facebook putting up statues like:

OMG!  This afternoon I got to cross off Sky Diving into an Iron Man race, completing it and celebrating by building a house for Habitat for Humanity from my Bucket List.  Next up is teach an ape how to body pop so that he can perform on America’s Got Talent and show people that we are all just animals, really. 

 I started to question whether I should have a list of incredible things I would like to accomplish before I kick the bucket.  And then I remembered who I am.  Instead, I decided to compile a list called the ‘Suck At’ list, because they are ten things that I’d like to just get on top of or finished before I die.  I think other people call them daily “To do’s.” I was also going to do 30 things.  Then, I again remembered who I am.

  1. Get birthday presents to people on time
  2. Vacuum and see that it makes a difference in removing The Big Brown One’s hair from the carpet.
  3. Buy something to store our towels in.  There is literally no where to put our towels in this freaking Victorian house.
  4. Get Christmas cards to people on time.
  5. Get to the bottom of our laundry basket.  I wonder what’s down there.  Some say it’s the 8th Wonder of the World.
  6. Put our clocks in sane places in our house instead of hanging them anywhere I have found a nail or bolt.  It looks like the Mad Hatter lives here.

    I'm late, I'm 3 different time zones

  7. Scale the great peak that is our pile of ironing.
  8. Get fish for the fish tank that we put water in 6 months ago.  The water has evaporated over halfway.
  9. Do something to ensure that I never, ever, EVER have to plan another week of meals again.
  10. Send a completed letter to anyone.  Ever.  (There are 3 out of date ones sitting in my desk right now – perhaps if they sit there long enough they will become relevant again.)

I aim high.

I hope this has made you feel better about yourself.

*I’ve overlooked an important item:

     11. Remember passwords to things.  

Check me out.  I excelled myself.  


14 thoughts on “The “Suck At” List

  1. Lauren

    Hahaha, I’m cracking up right now…especially about the fish tank one. That’s priceless. Is that really your house with the clocks?! You, my friend, are awesome. I, for one, enjoy getting your Christmas cards a few days late…a little surprise in the mailbox after all the hooplah is over. 🙂

  2. Deborah

    I love your blog! 🙂 You are so funny. I also have trouble getting Christmas cards and birthday presents to people on time. This year I was determined to do it but then I sent the pictures I printed to the Wal-mart in Tennesse by my parents house instead of the Wal-mart by my house here! So our church friends will maybe get a Happy Valentines Day card with a picture of our family???? Or I’ll just have 30 of the same prints of our most recent family photo…. I’m guessing it will be the second, but we will see.

    1. Living Life as an Expat Parent Post author

      …or you could put them in frames over the next year and give them for special occasions. Haha. I do relate. My downfall is that I’ll write the Christmas cards really early and then never get them addressed and in the post so I buy them, write them, seal them and don’t send them. The Native rolls his eyes when I go to get them each year. He knows me so well.

  3. Dilly Tante

    Great post, I can really empathise. I don’t have a bucket list either (did you see my blog post on why I don’t have a bucket list?).

    I live your suck it list. But I would cross ironing off it straight away! Life’s too short to iron. I do want to be better at birthdays.

    I keep evangelising about this book but I really recommend ‘The Happiness Project’. It’s a really inspirational story of basically getting your arse in gear! I loved it, sounds like you would too.

    1. Living Life as an Expat Parent

      I didn’t see the post. Send me the link! I didn’t used to be an ironer and then when I was off work and waiting for The Duchess to arrive it became this obsessive thing. I don’t know if I can not do it now. I find it hard to believe that you can empathise with all of the projects you have on the go.

  4. christy

    1. With you on the birthday presents 4. Christmas cards get started, stopped, bought not sent, and I have a PILE of cards I have half started and are now irrelevant to send. And I am late with Christmas PRESENTS to (to overseas friends) Hannah’s should be arriving in KY any day now.. 6. Mad Hatter awesomeness. I say leave them! Though my bedroom looks a bit like that 😉 7. I agree with Dilly. Don’t iron! 8. Fishtank= hilarity. That is ridiculous! 🙂 9. Like in general not cook?? Or am I missing something here??

    Love and miss you and all your hilarity.

    I could add to your list. I have a junk pile of papers that has gotten moved to four houses. I got it finally sorted and filed and binned and now. I have a new bag that has been here since I moved into this house in Aug. I don’t know what’s even in it. It sits by my bed in my immaculate room.

    Which his only immaculate when I have time. I prefer it, but as I am busy 26/24 8/7 days then it is not often immaculate

    I still hide piles of laundry that need folded and put away in my wardrobe when people come over to give the appearance my room is clean.

    I could make a top’s list of this.. but i need to sleep. also on something i am bad at’s list I am sure. 🙂

    1. Living Life as an Expat Parent

      Ha. You and your crazy late night posts. I don’t mind cooking, I just hate thinking about what meals to have. I hate it. Hate. Ask The Native. He hates it because he is always forced to ask me, ‘What are we going to do for dinner?’ to which I usually reply, ‘Uuuuuuuuuuuugh.’ I can relate about the pile of papers, although we have gotten better. My solution was to keep it next to our open fire and to go through them when we had a fire on. We had a fire going the other day that The Native said looked like a nuclear winter because I had chucked so much of our ‘old paper pile’ on it. Ha.

  5. A Frog at Large

    If I were to do a ‘Suck-At’ list (which I am not ruling out, it’s a great idea), I think it would look very much like yours! I should also do a ‘things to do before I’m 32’ list. This will leave me three weeks to sort myself out.

  6. Pingback: 06-02-12 Love Humour Weekly Showcase

  7. Pingback: The Difference in Acquiring a Fish (or Two) « Living Life as an Expat Parent

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s