We are back and life is settling down. I can happily report that it seems our bodies and minds are back in GMT (kind of, sort of). The Duchess’ body and mind, anyway. I, however, am not quite there after three nights of interrupted sleep characterized by sitting up with an infant who was squealing with delight about ‘nighttime play’ between the hours of 1am-3am. And so today I gloried in the fact that I didn’t shower or get out of my pyjamas and that I joined my baby for a 2.5 hour nap. For that reason, I’m pretty sure The Native gloried in my hotness when I welcomed him home form work.
While I was in the States I noticed that there is an emerging trend (or perhaps it has already emerged…I mean I have been living in Mommy land for 7.5 months) called “Sh*t people say…..” A couple of examples I’ve seen are: “Sh*t white girls say to black girls” and “Sh*t nobody says.”
A lot of them are pretty hilarious, but since I was back in the States it got me thinking about the things people say to me about living in England. Actually, they are not so much statements people make, but more questions people ask and I find most of those questions pretty shockingly hilarious. If you are reading this, you have potentially asked me one of these questions. Know that I love you and that I publicly mock you with love in my heart. Hopefully, you don’t have to be an expat to appreciate them.
Sh*t people ask when you live in England:
Have you met the Queen? (They are serious.)
Do you live in a castle? (Again. Serious.)
Don ’t you just love the Royals?
So, everybody’s teeth are really jacked up there, right?
Do they speak English there?
My friend Steve Sweatypants lives in London. Do you know him?
Do you have the internet?
Do you have graves?
Do you have concerts there? (Nope. I have only heard of this “music” people speak of.)
Can I spend American money there?
Isn’t that where the Eiffel Tower is?
Is it crazy there? (Yeah, crazy. All of the time. Can’t get away from the crazy.)
Any expats out there who can add any random off-the-wall questions you’ve been asked?